Relationships

The first date you go on with someone seems so important, right? Your palms are sweaty, you are hoping that he or she will be "the one," and your are trying so hard to make a good first impression. First dates are, ideally, the seed that will grow into a great relationship.

But the problem is that the "date seed" usually does not take root. We all know it can take many, many dates to even grow into a decently acceptable relationship! 

First dates may seem important to creating great relationships, but they are not as important as the collective viewpoint would have you think. They are a tiny drop in the ocean of relationships and romance. The key to a quality first date is to realize how insignificant they truly are.

When you go into a first date seeing it as being unimportant, you are not going to be unlikable. IN fact, you will be much more likeable simply because you will be more relaxed. Great relationships are forged from two people being relaxed in each other's presence. That is all it takes.

So, when going on a first date do not focus on the date or how it is going. Instead, make relaxation your main goal. Make acceptance of your self and the other your first goal and all else will fall into place.

IN a way, imagine you are having a first date with yourself. Act as if you have no one to impress, and you are likely to speak form your heart, to be more fun and to be more interesting. Good relationships come from being interested in your self first, and then you can genuinely be interested in the other.

So, trust yourself. Do not put pressure on yourself to make a good impression. Your only "true" relationships are with yourself, and all others are a reflection of that primary relationship. How you feel about yourself is most important. Do you value yourself? Or do you feel ugly or unworthy? These feelings will affect your relationships more than anything.

Go into your first date as if it were a chance encounter with a very good old friend. This outlook will give you room to breathe and feel safe. Stop thinking of the future. Be only on the date. Be only in the present. Enjoy the date for what it is; enjoy the other person for who they are. Nothing is irrevocable. Nothing you say needs to be carved in stone, unless you choose to carve it.